This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
