chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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