his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize