Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
