Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
