You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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