At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
