Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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