I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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