the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
