i need an iv and a liver transplant
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
