thus making me awesome and them whores
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
