jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
