Screwed.edu
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
