I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
