He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
