How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I should be sponsored by Trojan
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize