Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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