Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize