Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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