Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
