Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
