Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
