Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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