the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize