I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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