she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
