Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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