just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
