My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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