Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
