Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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