he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
