The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
