So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize