guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
