she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
