I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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