Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
is wine microwaveable?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
