mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just made my gag reflex go away.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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