Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
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