Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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