Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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