The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
