The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
How's work?
Spinning.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize