Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
