I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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