i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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