She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize