I wish life had little blips of pornography
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
