If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize