Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You smell like a Billy Joel song
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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