Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
