Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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