He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
