So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
