Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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