Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This girl is more easily done than said...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
