I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
