just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
