Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
