So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
