Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
