And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize