Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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