I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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