I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
