you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
