Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
