There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
