I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
