why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
