I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You're completely useless in the revolution.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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